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subscribeLeBron James is a complete douchebag
posted: 07.12.09 at 10:00 PM
filed under: sports
“Do you know Bone Thugs-n-Harmony?”
I facetiously asked the question when Alisa, my newest coworker, explained that she grew up in an area between Cleveland and Akron, Ohio. The short white girl was neither thuggish nor ruggish, so her negative response did not surprise me.
I searched my mind for the name of another famous Ohio native.
“How about LeBron James?” I sarcastically inquired.
“Fuck LeBron James. Fuck Lebron James! He is a complete fucking prick,” Alisa feverishly exclaimed.
I was surprised to learn that Alisa had encountered the basketball star several times during her youth. She explained that LeBron is only months older than her and that he grew up minutes from her childhood home.
She told several stories to validate her claim that LeBron James is, in fact, a complete douchebag.
::
While she was in high school, Alisa worked at a Red Lobster restaurant in Ohio. One night, moments before closing, James arrived at the restaurant, large entourage in tow.
The restaurant’s policy dictated that party must be served, despite their late arrival. The doors were locked and James and friends ate long after other patrons had left. The group was extremely loud, jubilantly celebrating a basketball victory.
Upon being served his salad, King James demanded that the waitress cut the lettuce into bite-size pieces. He was indignant when the waitress politely explained that such a request was atypical, and that he would be required to cut his own salad.
Infuriated, James sneered at the waitress and asked, “Do you know who I am?”
The teenage prodigy neglected to realize that when such a question is asked, there are only two possible responses: “No,” or “Yes, but I don’t give a shit.”
“Cut my salad,” he snapped.
Again, the waitress refused to cut the salad. James’ ego was clearly bruised. After all, he was a burgeoning superstar who had already been crowned The Second Coming of Michael Jordan or Perhaps Even Much Better. How dare a lowly waitress make him expend the energy to cut his own salad?
James and his party spent over two hours in the restaurant, yelling, laughing and throwing food at one another. As the night went on, the 18-year-old was increasingly rude to the restaurant staff.
Alisa and the other waitresses decided to retaliate as they patiently waited for the party to finish their meal. They sunk outside to the parking lot and wrapped James’ famous Hummer in Saran Wrap and several rolls of toilet paper.
The restaurant manager was stunned when he discovered the act of vandalism. He quickly hurried outside, cutting the plastic wrap and toilet paper from the truck. Then, he washed and dried the entire vehicle, terrified that the restaurant might be sued if James found his truck in anything short of pristine condition.
The group finally finished their meal in the wee hours of the morning. When the check arrived, James instructed one of his friends to pay the check and said that he would cover the tip. The waitresses were stunned that James did not pay the bill, considering that he was the only teenager living in the ghetto of Akron that had the purchasing power to acquire an $80,000 truck.
As the party left, James generously tipped the waitress with a nice, shiny quarter.
::
Alisa shared several more stories of James’ contemptible behavior as a teenager. She commented on the sharp contrast between his reputation in Akron and his perceived public persona. While James is often portrayed as a likeable, fun-loving athlete that is adored by his peers, those who grew up with the future star in Akron regard him as a jag bag of epic proportions.
::
James lends his name to the LeBron James Skills Academy in Akron. Last week, reports surfaced that college sophomore Jordan Crawford had delivered a vicious two-handed dunk over James during a pickup game.
Nike sponsored the camp, and company representatives were quick to confiscate all video evidence of the dunk. Within hours, the Interwebs were abuzz with the tale of James’ humiliation at the hands of a six-foot-four prep.
Naturally, Nike did not want the image of their star spokesperson to be tarnished, and James sought to preserve his image as the greatest player of his generation.
Freelance photographer Ryan Miller captured the entire day’s action on video, including Crawford’s now-legendary dunk. During a break in the action, Miller introduced himself to James. The photographer described James as “friendly” during their brief encounter.
After speaking with Miller, James chatted with Lynn Merritt, Nike’s director of basketball. Within moments, Merritt confronted Miller and another cameraman. Both had their videotapes confiscated, based upon a non-existent policy prohibiting cameras at the camp.
Merritt offered a variety of excuses for demanding the tapes, pledging to return Miller’s tape the following morning, after Nike representatives had the opportunity to review the footage. The following day, Miller’s attempts to retrieve the tape were met with a plethora of diversionary tactics by Nike representatives.
Miller never got his tape back. The footage of LeBron getting dunked on by a guard five inches shorter than him is now lost forever.
Nike vigorously denies engaging in a cover-up, but the company’s tactics are plainly an effort to help preserve the image of LeBron James as a basketball god that they have spent years crafting. Miller said that, aside from being dunked on, James “played terribly all day.” To James and Nike proof that the player is a mere mortal, fallible at the hands of a fellow player, would apparently be absolutely devastating to their collective marketing strategies.
The clip would have certainly been an instant hit on YouTube. Yet it would have quickly faded from public consciousness and taken its place among the countless number of other videos of NBA stars being dunked on.
Ironically, the efforts to suppress the videos of the dunk have elevated the incident to a legendary status. The footage has become the sports equivalent of the 18-and-a-half minutes of conversations that were erased from the Watergate tapes.
James could have responded quite differently. He could have shaken Jordan Crawford’s hand, congratulating him on his performance. He could have used the video to plant the seeds of a rivalry. If Crawford develops into a talented NBA prospect, he could be signed to a deal with Nike, or even a subset of James’ own brand. The inevitable “LeBron versus Jordan” campaign would carry a tinge of irony and surely become a success.
Instead, James responded in the childish manner characteristic of a spoiled, insecure star. When James is bested by a competitor, he does not shake hands or offer congratulatory overtures.
If James were evaluated using a kindergarten report card, his teacher would surely comment that he “doesn’t play well with others.”
::
James hates to lose.
Six weeks ago, James’ Cleveland Cavilers were defeated by the Orlando Magic in the NBA Playoffs. The Magic went on to face the Los Angeles Lakers in the Finals. James packed up his toys and went home to sulk.
At the end of the game that decided the series, James refused to shake hands with Magic players and skipped the obligatory postgame press conference. He was later fined $25,000 by the NBA for his actions.
“I’m a winner; that’s not being a poor sport or anything like that,” James later said in defense of his actions. “If somebody beats you up, you are not going to congratulate them beating you up.”
Clearly, James does not understand the concept of sportsmanship. His actions after his loss to the Magic embody the concept of a “poor sport.”
James also neglects the history of the game he plays. Countless NBA superstars have fallen at the hands of their competitors and been cordial in the process.
Hall of Fame center Patrick Ewing enjoyed an illustrious and dominant career, but his New York Knicks fell to the Chicago Bulls five separate times in his fruitless quest for a title. Ewing was consistently gracious in defeat, offering Michael Jordan a postgame hug and ruminating on the loss in front of reporters.
Legends such as Charles Barkley, Reggie Miller and John Stockton failed to win the Larry O’Brien trophy, an achievement which represented their ultimate goal in life. Each fully accepted their own failures and spoke to the media – and by extension, to their fans – about their defeats.
Even James’ idol, Jordan, was congenial after a loss. While Jordan is known for his dominance in the 1990s, six seasons of failure preceded his era of success. Even after falling to the rival Detroit Pistons, a team saturated with notorious ass-clowns, Jordan was congratulatory to his competitors.
LeBron James feels that he is above such pleasantries, and that his legend transcends the concept of sportsmanship.
::
James’ behavior – his blatant refusal to acknowledge the success of his peers – is symptomatic of an immature and egotistical athlete who is far too invested in the public image that has been crafted for him. Nike has worked in concert with the sports media to portray James as a flawless athletic god, occupying another plane of existence when compared to other players.
If fans buy into the narrative, James becomes a lucrative brand; Nike, the NBA, ESPN, Sports Illustrated and dozens of other corporations are positioned to enjoy massive profits.
Yet it seems that James himself has bought into the narrative, becoming a jaded star with a clear contempt for his peers in the process.
Fellow NBA superstar Kobe Bryant is often criticized for the care he takes in maintaining his public image. The criticism is well-deserved, as Bryant has emulated Michael Jordan in every conceivable way. His style of play, the form of his jump shots and even the cadence of his voice are all heavily influenced by Jordan.
James takes a different approach to developing his public persona. Instead of simply working to be perceived as a likeable, marketable individual, he suppresses any information that may paint him in a negative light.
With the skill of a heavy-handed Communist dictator, James’ camp eradicates any materials that might inspire his detractors. There are no sound bites of James after the Cavilers’ loss to the Magic, because he simply skipped the press conference. There is no footage of the Jordan Crawford dunk, due to a strict Nike embargo.
::
LeBron, do you ever get that not-so-fresh feeling?
In many ways, one can understand how James’ ego swelled to massive proportions. Recruits were watching him play as a freshman and quickly labeled him basketball’s next mega-star, the heir apparent to Michael Jordan. For years, he was told that he had unprecedented potential and could rise to the pinnacle of the sport.
The hype machine gained momentum, feeding James’ ego along the way. His high school games were televised on ESPN2. At the age of 17, he appeared on the cover of Sports Illustrated. He guided his high school team to three state championships, never having to truly taste bitter failure on his rise to stardom.
James was the sport’s brightest star before he ever played an NBA game. While most star athletes have to pay their dues as a professional before becoming a prima donna, James’ behavior and reputation in Akron indicate that he found this to be an unnecessary exercise.
As the nation fawned over the young player, he was never forced to mature into a good sport. Unfortunately, he is now the face of the NBA and the world’s ambassador for the game.
It is debatable whether LeBron James is the greatest player in the game. It is clear, however, that he belongs in the Douchebag Hall of Fame.
22 responses to 'LeBron James is a complete douchebag'
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this is complete bull shit
isaac rupe
12.16.09 03:33 PM
This is a complete bull shit. The person who came up with this blog is a douche bag.
nes
01.02.10 01:47 AM
pff , nothing’s true. LBJ is much better than Kobe and you all know it . I just don’t understand why you don’t admit it. You all can see LeBron’s power and skill and compare it to Kobe’s shit :). WE ARE ALL WITNESSES THAT LBJ IS THE BEST BASKETBALL PLAYER IN NBA.
wef
01.21.10 03:35 PM
lebron is a dickhead.
lebron is a dick
01.29.10 02:35 AM
this is true james is a cocky ass who should be fined for his childish acts on the bench and if you ask me he needs his ass kicked
allls
02.11.10 06:05 PM
I have a hard time believing the first story about the restaurant. Even if it was true, what do you expect. He was an immature 18 year old who was way too much of a celebrity for his own good. People do stupid things when they’re young and I would bet he isn’t anything like that anymore.
I also heard from the mouth of Jordan Crawford in an ESPN interview immediately following the summer camp dunk incident that Lebron was even guarding him. Crawford drove towards the basket and at the last minute Lebron turned and stuck his arm up from the side. Everyone’s reacting a little too extremely about it. How does Nike confiscating the tapes have anything to do with Lebron? If Lebron didn’t want to give those young players a chance to showcase their talent, he wouldn’t have begun the camp in the first place.
While I do agree that he shouldn’t have walked off of the court after losing to the Magic in the Eastern Conference Finals last year, I think people are once again over-reacting to a minor incident. He’s a super-competitive guy who hates losing and he was understandable frustrated. He carried the entire team on his shoulders through the season and beginning of the playoffs only to get knocked out.
To end the Kobe-Lebron debate, I’m going to break it down into two categories with the help of ESPN columnist Bill Simmons and his “Book of Basketball.”
First of all, when comparing two individual players, you can ask yourself two things. Who is the more valuable player and who is the better pure basketball player. By answering these questions, you’re covering the tangible and intangible aspects of a players and together, they decide who the better player is period.
As far as most valuable (and here is where Simmons’ theory comes in to play), take Lebron away from Cleveland and take Kobe away from the Lakers. Replace them each with a mediocre player of the same position (perhaps Manu Ginobili for Kobe and Richard Jefferson for Lebron)and how would the teams fair? Cleveland probably wouldn’t even smell the playoffs in a horrible Eastern Conference and the Lakers have enough of a buffer outside of Kobe to still make noise in the West.
The other solution as to finding out who the better pure basketball player is, is to simply put them in an empty gym together with a basketball and have them play 1 on 1. Lebron is bigger, faster, stronger, and still more athletic than Kobe as well as a pretty good defender now. Lebron would win 7 or 8 out of 10, and if you can’t honestly admit that then you have no hope as a fan of basketball.
ems
02.13.10 04:51 AM
met him after hornets cavs game everyone took pics cp3 dwest mooon and even shaq lebron came out denied 8 white kids including myself saying he was in a rush then stopped for a 5 black 20 yr olds thugged out ans posed and signed everything he is a Ni##er
grant
03.25.10 02:54 AM
i dont believe the restaurant story but i think its undeniable that lebron is a major smegma. hes a little bitch whenever he doesnt get a call and acts like hes better than everyone else…he may be a great player but part of that should be a level of humility that he is severely lacking
mikel
04.27.10 09:28 PM
Contrary to popular belief, competitiveness and humility are not mutually exclusive qualities. I’ve seen many examples of great athletes who were humble and gracious.
Yes, confidence is necessary for a competitor. But believing in one’s abilities does not mean you it’s okay to act or speak arrogantly.
It’s about having class and it’s about simply being a decent human being. When you act as if you are a more valuable human than others, you lack class. Proclaiming your own greatness – no matter how great you are – is also classless.
To say that one has earned one’s ego is ridiculous. Just because you might be the best at what you do does not give you a pass on arrogance. And to be clear – ARROGANCE IS A NEGATIVE HUMAN TRAIT. An arrogant person is someone who looks down on others. Does anyone in their right and moral mind think it is acceptable to look down on others?
And NO, I DON’T EXPECT MY FAVORITE PROFESSIONAL ATHLETES TO BE PERFECT HUMAN BEINGS. But when I see certain negative traits in others – be it an athlete, a neighbor, or myself – I expect that the person will try to change for the better. If I am a habitual liar I will work to change that. If my neighbor unfairly criticizes others I will call her on it. If my brother is arrogant I will bring him back to reality.
To say that it’s okay that Lebron acts ego maniacally or childishly just because he’s great at the game of basketball is twisted. It puts basketball skills above what really matters in a human being. Character.
Jon Hohensee
05.03.10 11:06 PM
lebrons not that good at basketball, its a lot easier to play when the refs are on your side. d wade is by far twice the player and human being that james is. If d wade was on a stacked team like lebron no one would consider lebron an mvp
C Fan
05.09.10 03:43 PM
I can’t speak for all of this, but the part about him being a non-tipping ass-clown is true without question. I know someone who worked in a restaurant that will remain nameless, and she pretty much told the exact same story, except his entire crew harassed her and asked her if she knew who dude was. A slightly better tip, a few bucks, but we’re talking a big bill here. Born and raised in Akron, I’m telling you, dude’s been a prick since they started pay-per-viewing St. V games, for real.
Jim
05.15.10 04:06 AM
Well said my friend!
Janean
05.29.10 11:21 PM
Can’t shoot like kobe, can’t shoot period, can’t lead, can’t inspire with his play, can’t find a clutch even in a standard honda civic, can’t deter the nba from actual important events such as kobe winning all the championships while he keeps screwing the marketing whore named espn, can’t get swept in the finals because he can’t get there… oops that something he can do actually. Oh yeah did i mention it’s basketball where the fundamental purpose is to win and shoot the ball and he has never done that period. Shoot the fucking ball better, and win a fucking championshp then you’ll deserve some hype king shames. Kobe could dunk better than everybody also, but he got out of that faze in year three. Granted phony nba fans and marketing analysist “geniouses” will adore your shitty game, but it’s been done before. There have been dominiques,etc. The difference was they were actually likeable. Lebron is a reflection of how shitty america’s culture has gotten. We our whores to ads and false icons. Fuck k-fed and brittany while I’m at it. Fuck king shit.
Jp
06.25.10 12:18 AM
Sounds like a typical NUG. Looks like a dirty piece of shit to me. But the biggest deal of the NBA to me is this. Call it racial if you want but why to middle aged white men support these ungrateful and arrogant NUGS? Look at any televised game and invariably it is 30-60 yr old white professionals in the paying crowd. I don’t see how a working man affords a ticket anyway to this overrated league but it’s the white morons that are forking out their dollars to watch these otherwise french fry jocky’s play ball. And I don’t even call it ball, it’s more football.
The NBA is a piece of shit, Stern is an opportunists. With all the darkness in this league it’s amazing the commissioner is white. So I guess my deal is this, I would love to see whitey take his money away from these ungrateful NUGS and make superstar status in the NBA worth about 100k tops, you know these stupid NUGs would still play for that kind of money what else are they going to do? What a country and what a pathetic thing the NBA is. Nothing but Africans. They don’t have a penny of my money and never will. Idiots like James are why the league and profession suck. I hope the stupid piece of shit has a fucking wreck and is rendered useless to basketball he deserves it. Fuck that Nug.
jank brock
06.26.10 10:23 AM
who’s better? cause im pretty sure, correct me if I’m wrong, that kobe has 5 rings and is the best player this sport has seen since jordan and magic, and lebron has…zero. cock fucks. and he is a d bag, so that basically sums it up.
KB245
06.27.10 08:37 AM
lebron is not who he used to be! i was born and partly raised in cleveland and when he came to the cavs i was so happy. since he is going to the heat to get his selfish ass a ring i just think he is a complete asshole. wade and bosh arent real freinds dumbass they are just other players making shitloads of money amd want you to join their selfish asses to get a fucking ring. go to hell bron bron
jake
07.08.10 04:39 PM
Hey EMs…..you just said about how to compare two great players….i think you miss something…that will change the whole thing…it’s as simple as this…kobe got 5 lebron doesn’t have any…period….may be when you posted your comment kobe just have 4 but still it doesn’t give any shit…coz lebron doesnt have any….he is a flop!
catherine de amores
07.12.10 07:54 AM
Clearly whoever thinks the restuarant story is not true has not idea who Labron is or is character. Nothing about him has changed since he was 18 in terms of his entourage coming in late, order tons, being destructive, and in Akron, it is a well known fact he does not tip!
Jon
07.13.10 01:32 AM
I once met a girl at a bar who grew up in Akron and told me Lbj’s a douche and asked why? She told me she was friends with his girlfriend and that even his kid’s mom thinks he’s a dick. He didn’t even marry his girlfriend after having 3 kids with her, thr proof is all around him!
John Z.
07.14.10 11:13 AM
Ok first lebrons not a dick or a douche and that restaurant thing is complete bullshit ok and second he won’t be as good as michael but he can now have more rings then michael he’s very smart
nick
10.06.10 08:25 PM
Hilarious, and not surprising! LOL!
Liz
12.03.10 05:03 PM
an absolute douche … doesn’t respect the game or his fellow players…hope he never wins a ring…and lets start calling some fouls on him ( goaltending for starters) and people boycot the products he endorses.
jim
01.20.11 03:14 PM