The Blagojevich circus continues, complete with human props.

The show must go on. The circus of Illinois politics continues to capture imaginations across the nation, as the tales of scandal-plagued governor Rod Blagojevich (D-Shit’s Creek) continues to unfold in a dramatic and bizarre fashion.  The latest entry into the incredible saga came Friday as Blagojevich held a press conference less than 24 hours after the Illinois House of Representatives had voted to impeach him.

One would expect a garden variety press conference, filled with vehement denials of wrongdoing, peppered with an occasional Bible reference.  But this is Blagojevich, the egotistical executive with a penchant for the dramatic and a delusional sense of self-righteousness.  A huddled mass of the tired, poor and ill stood on stage waiting for the governor, who was obviously occupied with Official Business, as he trotted onto the stage 25 minutes late.

The group was quite diverse, but a common thread tied them all together.  Each had suffered from a medical condition, and each had benefited from legislation that Blagojevich had championed.  But on this stage, these were not people; they were merely props, meant to symbolize the governor’s work on behalf of his constituents.

Blagojevich began by noting that his impeachment was not surprising, as the legislature has begun discussing impeachment 18 months earlier.  He continued by blaming the house for his impeachment, building upon the concept  that the actions of the legislature are actually a broad-based conspiracy, meant to discredit a fine public servant who fought for the rights of Illinois residents.

He continued by blaming the house for inaction on important legislation, and offered White House Chief of Staff designate Rahm Emmanuel (D-Chicago, fucker) the opportunity to share the blame for his controversial I-SaveRx program, which allowed Illinois residents to illegally import prescription drug from foreign countries. 

Blagojevich began the press conference on an even keel, but as his progressed further into his statement, he became more forceful.  His anger was palpable and his words were spoken louder and more aggressively.  Once again, he concluded the press conference as Illinois’ Poet Laureate, dramatically quoting Alfred Tennyson’s “Ulysses.”

However, what was most notable about the governor’s statement was not the poetry, nor the cheap theatrics.  The content of the statement itself exposed Blagojevich’s delusions of grandeur and his legal team’s ineffective and ironic defense strategy.

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Blagojevich boasted that he was able “defy the FDA” in allowing Illinois citizens to import drugs from foreign countries.  He conveniently neglected the fact that the FDA has an important role in ensuring that drugs brought into the US are safe. He desperately tried to throw Emmanuel under the bus, while simultaneously attempting to grasp at a share of the Obama administration’s credibility.  In addition, he failed to answer the impeachment panel’s charges that he “demonstrated deliberate disregard of State and federal laws” in circumventing the legislature to create the program. 

When referring to the Pink Potluck program, which provides free breast and cervical cancer screenings for uninsured women, Blagojevich noted that he “found a way, with our lawyers, to do it around the legislative process.”  While the program itself is important and innovative, the governor’s statement further illustrates his blatant disregard for the separation of powers outlined in the Illinois constitution.  By circumventing the legislature, Blagojevich displayed a belief that the governor should be allowed to act unilaterally, without the consent of the legislature.  This demonstrates that Blagojevich was willing to act outside of his authority with little concern for checks and balances.

In an effort to further illustrate his care for the sick, he spoke about Omar Castillo.  Castillo was diagnosed with a rare liver or kidney or other disease – it is unclear, because Blagojevich alternated between referring to Castillo’s liver and kidney.  This confusion underscores the governor’s lack of preparation and concern for Castillo, and furthers the notion that the individuals on stage with the governor were simply props intended to help the governor regain credibility.

Blagojevich also chided the house for failing to act on House Bill 2973, which allows homeowners a 90 day grace period prior to foreclosure.  I will seize upon every opportunity to be critical of the General Assembly.  However, the governor conveniently ignored the fact that the legislature found it necessary to act swiftly after his arrest, and that state business was essentially halted by the impeachment proceedings.

The ultimate irony in Blagojevich’s press conference was the underlying message.  He championed himself as an executive fighting for the rights of the sick and downtrodden, despite the federal complaint which alleges that he attempted to shake down the Children’s Memorial Hospital, threatening to cut off the hospital’s state funding.  Are we to believe that the cutthroat governor – who is on a federal wiretap shaking down a children’s hospital for cash – is now an innovative reformer and a champion of public health?

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Blagojevich’s first press conference after his arrest, combined his lawyer’s statements during the house impeachment proceedings, illustrate a critical flaw in the governor’s defense strategy.  His lawyer, Ed Genson, is regarded as a highly successful defense attorney; he was able to get R. Kelly acquitted despite videotaped evidence showing Kelly pissing on an underage girl (in Illinois, you must be of legal age to be peed upon.) 

Blagojevich’s defense team’s strategy has been to boast about the governor’s accomplishments, in order to illustrate that he is a Fine Public Official.  Little has been done to combat the allegations outlined in the federal complaint, other than to discredit the wiretap recordings as illegal and the impeachment process as unfair. 

In the impeachment proceedings, the effectiveness of the governor’s legislation is irrelevant.  He is on trial for abusing his executive powers.  The argument that the “ends justify the means” will prove to be ineffective. 

Remember that former president Richard Nixon (R-Douchebags) had an impressive resume – he reduced the tension in diplomatic relations with China and Russia, and he help to bring an end to the Vietnam War – but his resume was irrelevant in light of the allegations against him.  Likewise, Bill Clinton’s (D-Glory Hole) accomplishments did were not a factor in his frivolous Republican-led impeachment. 

Furthermore, the legality of the wiretaps are irrelevant.  Impeachment proceedings are purely political and evidence is not held to the same standard as in criminal cases.  Genson has proved that he is out of his element in his defense of the governor.

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Blagojevich’s desperate attempts to appear as a capable an effective executive are designed to turn the tide of public opinion, to create sympathy for the beleaguered governor.  However, his transparent theatrics do the exact opposite, further galvanizing public opinion against him.  Many were insulted by his use of the “human shield,” and the audacity of painting himself as a reformer with great concern for public health in light of the charges against him.

For most politicians, this strategy could backfire.  But there will be no blowback for Blagojevich, as the man has nothing to lose.  In the coming months, as he transitions from governor to private citizen to defendant to inmate, he will look back and realize his efforts were futile.

The flow of Shit’s Creek it too swift to change, and the undertow will ultimately drown Rod Blagojevich.

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