Archive for the ‘audio’ Category

NBA Playoffs preview

It is the most wonderful time of the year. The NBA Playoffs are upon us, which means that it is time for a flurry of podcasts from your pals bokeen and Tyler Conium. I joined the “Anybody Listening” podcast to preview the first round, predict the results for each series and discuss Kobe dropping the fag-bomb.

Tyler, tee this motherfucker up:

If you like NBA basketball, homoeroticism, and dick jokes this podcast will be right up your alley.

bokeen joins to talk about the first round of the NBA Playoffs, and with anything our conversation eventually declines to topics like oral sex and ganache.

This weekend on bokeen.com we will also make predictions for the end of season awards. Likely accompanied by more vulgarity.

Tyler Conium is the Kobe Bryant of podcasting, but he has yet to attain five championship rings. Also, he has never raped a broad.

iTunes link
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Follow Tyler on Twitter: @tylerconium

Check out my appearance on “Radio Exposed”

I appeared on the “Radio Exposed” podcast with Tinky and Louie to discuss a fuckmess of different topics, including the process of podcastery, the importance of titty size and how March Madness is built upon gambling and racism. I was sure to drop the obligatory shout-out to our pal Tyler Conium and his bodacious podcast, “Anybody Listening.”

The Radio Exposed guys can explain it better:

Tinky and Louie will bring in the founder of stiffs.com Kelly Bakst to talk about his Death Pool site. Also bokeen from Consumption Junction will talk about his podcast. Also, they will be discussing iconic movies that are very much overrated and Tinky has uncovered a new way that kids are trying to get drunk.

Tinky and Louie are the dons of the podcast scene in the Chicago area, and were kind enough to refrain from breaking my kneecaps when mizChartruese and I started Consumption Junction.

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Follow Radio Exposed on Twitter: @radioexposed

NCAA basketball sucks. And I know how to fix it.

As March Madness draws to a pus-filled head, I joined Tyler Conium’s “Anybody Listening” to discuss why college basketball is inferior to the NBA, and I throw out a novel idea that would dramatically improve the game.

Tyler, describe this bitch up:

Based on today’s intro, you might come to the conclusion that I was intoxicated. Not so! Just, really ridiculous. Also realizing I am in somewhat desperate need for a co-host. Please send me your applications.

[Note: This was recorded earlier and delayed]

After I talk about how much Drake sucks, and how lame my neighbors are, I welcome the silky-voiced assassin bokeen (@bokeen) to talk about why the college game is so much worse than the NBA.

Tyler and I are the Michael Jordan and Scottie Pippen of podcasting. As such, I am growing a hi-top fade. Tyler better shave his damn head.

(Left to right): Jimmer Fredette, 2011 Men’s College Player of the Year; Derrick Rose, favorite to win the 2011 NBA Most Valuable Player award. These guys are the best in their respective games. I rest my case.

iTunes link
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Follow Tyler on Twitter: @tylerconium

The Miami Heat’s future is fucked. Thank Bosh and his contract.

Once again, I lent my vast NBA knowledge and insightful commentary to “Anybody Listening,” a podcast hosted by my brother in podcasting excellence, Tyler Conium.  We chatted about the Miami Heat and debated whether or not they are, in fact, bitch-made.

Tyler, get your description on:

Sports themed podcast today, and it’s a beauty. I am furious over the NHL’s ruling on the Zdeno Chara hit on Max Pacioretty that broke his net and left him severely concussed. Air Canada has also threatened to pull out of its sponsorship agreement with the NHL if immediate action isn’t taken on head shots. I’m joined on the show by the silky voiced, NBA aficionado, bokeen (@bokeen) to talk about how sick I am about talking about the Miami Heat. Pretty hypocritical, huh? Kenny Norton (@KennyNorton), Derek Masters (@drockfilms), and “Randy Savage” are on next to talk about old school WWF Wrestling. Not WWE, because that shit is lame.

Tyler and I are like Siskel and Ebert, but much younger and with fatter balls. Also, neither of us is dead.

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Follow Tyler on Twitter: @tylerconium

The NBA trade deadline was a fucking doozy

Another day, another appearance on “Anybody Listening,” a podcast hosted by the cantankerous Canadian, Tyler Conium.  We chatted about the delightful NBA trade deadline.

Tyler – go:

Big.. JUICY.. podcast this week. I don’t bore you with details, and get right into Oscars talk with Lucas Walker (@WalkerLucas). Next I talk to Paige Raquel (@paigeraquel) about celebrity gossip, specifically the trials and tribulations (no pun intended) of Lindsay Lohan. Resident NBA expert bokeen (@bokeen) comes on to talk NBA Trade Deadline.. and of course make fun of Baron Davis. ENJOY!

Juicy indeed. You know what else is juicy? Your panties after listening to Tyler and I speak.

iTunes link
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Follow Tyler on Twitter: @tylerconium

The NBA slam dunk contest was fixed, and the Knicks got raped in the Melo trade

Once again, I appeared on “Anybody Listening,” a podcast hosted by the cantankerous Canadian, Tyler Conium.  We chatted about hoops, including All Star Weekend and the Carmelo Anthony trade. The slam dunk contest was fixed on account of racism.

Run it, Tyler:

After taking the best holiday in Canada (Family Day) off, I’m back to podcasting! I talk about the turmoil in Libya, fat pets, and a man with over 30 wives and over 90 children! I also adress the state of web series "Hello Phoenix, with a new episode coming tomorrow! I have posted the first 2 at the bottom of this post. bokeen (@bokeen, bokeen.com) joins to discuss the NBA All Star Weekend, as well as the much awaited conclusion to the Carmelo Anthony saga.

Tyler and I have impressive masculine voices that would make James Earl Jones jealous. Listen to this podcast with your girlfriend, and watch her nipples get hard.

iTunes link
Direct link for Apple haters
Follow Tyler on Twitter: @tylerconium

Check out my appearance on “Anybody Listening”

This week, I appeared on “Anybody Listening,” a podcast hosted by a cantankerous Canadian named Tyler Conium.  We discussed a pertinent issue ripped from today’s headlines: NBA players wearing headbands. 

Tyler’s summary of the episode:

“In today’s show Tyler Conium further addresses the protests in Egypt, as well as criticizes the Catholic Church for releasing a “Confession” app for the iPad. Author, digital artist and filmmaker Joshua Murphy (@element3media, http://drinkinganddebauchery.tumblr.com) joins to discuss his new book "Drinking & Debauchery" and his upcoming film "The Heroin Derivative" based on the book. bokeen (@bokeen) comes on to discuss the ridiculousness of headbands in the NBA, as well as many other basketball topics.

Tyler and I both have silky-smooth voices that will surely arouse you, in the sexual way.  I recommend that you keep a roll of paper towels nearby as you listen.

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Follow Tyler on Twitter: @tylerconium

Surgical Eyeball Transplant radio commercial

I dug this project up from the bokeen vaults.

It’s a project from my art school days. The task was to create a 30 or 60 second radio commercial. This commercial is for a fictional eye transplantation procedure.

The project dates back to 2001. The project was inspired by the rising popularity and commercialization of laser eye surgery (LASIK). When I saw a LASIK center in a shopping mall, I was stunned; people were actually electing to have surgery in a small store wedged between Cinnabon and Foot Locker.

The script appears after the break for the hearing impaired. And Google.

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