Archive for the ‘blagojevich’ tag

Missing the good old days of Rod Blagojevich

Last week, Illinois Governor Pat Quinn (D-Pandering Populists) delivered the first budget address of his administration. He acknowledged the state’s financial predicament – an $11.5 billion budget deficit – and attempted to soften the blow of proposed tax hikes with unconvincing, trite rhetoric. 

Quinn’s speech began with tired platitudes about corruption that have become the basis for his platform.  After the foreplay of reform-talk, he began to highlight the details of his $53 billion dollar budget.  He proposed $1.3 billion in spending cuts, but offered few specifics about the nature of the cuts.  Next, he offered “ground-breaking public pension reforms” and, once again, pledged to run an open and honest government.

Finally, Quinn unveiled the centerpiece of the budget, the Illinois Economic Recovery and Tax Reform Act of 2009.  The plan calls for a 50% increase in the rate of corporate and personal income taxes.

The governor used the terms “reform” and “tax relief” 30 times in an ineffective attempt to make the tax hike more palatable. 

continue reading…

Why so much urgency in filling Obama’s seat?

Illinois politicians where whipped into a frenzy last month after Governor Rod Blagojevich’s (D-Shit’s Creek) arrest.  In light of allegations that Blagojevich was attempted to sell the state’s vacant senate seat, they demanded swift action to fill the seat by any means necessary, preventing the governor from making an appointment.

The day Blagojevich was arrested, Senator Dick Durbin (D-Ethanol) said, “The General Assembly should enact a law as quickly as possible calling for a special election.”  Days later, Lt. Governor Pat Quinn (D-Pandering Populists) emphasized that Illinois “needs two senators” to address “important issues” in Washington. 

While it is ultimately a moot point in light of the impending seating of Roland Burris (D-Hundred Acre Woods), I am curious – why the hurry?  Illinois has been lacking in Senate representation for quite some time now.

continue reading…

Rollie the Pooh

Whenever Roland Burris (D-Hundred Acre Wood) speaks, I can’t help but notice that he has a very strange voice.  Over past few days, I have struggled to come up with an accurate description: is his voice Muppet like, or is he simply doing a poor impersonation of a cartoon character?

Then, last Friday, Chicago radio personality and American treasure Roe Conn shed some light on the situation.  On his show, he compared Burris’ voice to the voice of cartoon character Winnie the Pooh.  When two brief audio clips were played side by side, the two voices were indistinguishable. 

I was delighted to have finally discovered the truth: Rolland Burris is related to Winnie the Pooh.  I have created the video below to support this theory.  While the voices are not identical, they are similar enough to suggest a familial relationship.  I invite you to comment and let me know what you think..

continue reading…

The Blagojevich circus continues, complete with human props.

The show must go on. The circus of Illinois politics continues to capture imaginations across the nation, as the tales of scandal-plagued governor Rod Blagojevich (D-Shit’s Creek) continues to unfold in a dramatic and bizarre fashion.  The latest entry into the incredible saga came Friday as Blagojevich held a press conference less than 24 hours after the Illinois House of Representatives had voted to impeach him.

One would expect a garden variety press conference, filled with vehement denials of wrongdoing, peppered with an occasional Bible reference.  But this is Blagojevich, the egotistical executive with a penchant for the dramatic and a delusional sense of self-righteousness.  A huddled mass of the tired, poor and ill stood on stage waiting for the governor, who was obviously occupied with Official Business, as he trotted onto the stage 25 minutes late.

continue reading…

The Chicago Machine is alive and well thanks to Illinois voters

Governor Rod Blagojevich’s (D-Shit’s Creek) legal troubles have brought the Chicago machine back onto the national stage for the first time in decades.

Some believed that the machine died with Boss Daley (D-Bridgeport) in 1976. Others think that the election of Mayor Harold Washington (D-Good Guys) in 1983 signaled the demise of machine influence in Chicago politics.

The machine has not died. In the early 80s, the machine went atrophied and retooled, emerging stronger than ever. Today’s machine is very different from the machine that Boss Daley oversaw decades ago.

continue reading…