Archive for the ‘technology’ tag

Chatroulette: Gallery of the morose

Have you heard of Chatroulette, the latest social networking sensation that is sweeping the Interwebs?

Of course you haven’t, because you aren’t as plugged in as me.  I am always aware of the latest trends on the Interwebs, because I am a social media expert and a bona fide SEM, SEO and web 2.0 marketing professional.  It says so in my Twitter profile.

Chatroulette allows you to strike up a video chat with random strangers.  Clicking “Play” puts you in touch with one the site’s hundreds of thousands of users.  If you do not like what you see, you can click the “Next” button to find a new chat partner.

To refer to Chatroulette merely as a “social networking website” is an understatement.  It is a social networking tour de force that opens a window to the world of the morose individuals that live on the Interwebs.

Armed with my webcam and a fifth of Captain Morgan, I decided to explore the Chatroulette experience.  After several hours of repeatedly clicking the “Next” button, I developed a strong understanding of the Chatroulette audience makeup.  Also, I got shit-faced drunk in the process.

 I would like to share my findings with you in the form of this spectacular gallery of screenshots.

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Stop bitching about changes to The Book of Face

For many, the Book of Face has replaced actual interaction with other human folks.

This is truly a reflection of the sad state of the world today.  Social network provides a tidy and convenient forum for managing our relationships, without the hassle of face-to-face contact. 

Interpersonal interaction is now comprised sending virtual gifts, inviting friends to play Farmville and writing on one another’s wall.  These have replaced traditional, wholesome activities, such as going out for coffee, playing a rousing match of checkers or receiving a handjob in a 1992 Geo Metro while parked outside of a Denny’s at three in the morning. 

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Fucking with Dell technical support

According to an old idiom, the squeaky wheel gets the grease; I am a sarcastic wheel.

I have recently been experiencing problems with my laptop.  The warm weather has a devastating effect on the machine.  After several hours of summertime use, it performs incredibly slowly. 

Each time this has happen, the machine becomes astonishingly hot.  Naturally, I assumed that there was a correlation between the scalding surface of the computer and its poor performance.

The problem was a minor nuisance until earlier this week, when my computer failed miserably in front of a client that I do freelance work for.  I was absolutely outraged.

Prior to contacting Dell’s customer support department about the issue, I consumed a baker’s dozen beer in order to keep the conversation entertaining.

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bocabulary

Sometimes, it’s like my phone doesn’t even know me.

Every single day, I key the word “fuck,” or one of its variants, into my BlackBerry Pearl.  Despite the fact that the phone is equipped with a predictive text system, it consistently suggests the word “duck” when I am attempting to use my favorite four-letter word. 

Each time I type in a word that is not in the default BlackBerry dictionary, it is added to a “custom dictionary” so that the phone will recognize the word in the future.  In the nine months that I have had the phone, my custom dictionary has swollen to contain hundreds of words.  Between typing text messages, emails and notes, and using applications such as TwitterBerry, Google Maps and BlackBerry Messenger, I often use words that the device simply wasn’t trained to recognize.

While browsing the massive list, several notable words stood apart from the rest.  I am happy to present excerpts from the list – my bocabulary.

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Squandering time with The Book of Face

You may not have heard, but social networking sites are all the rage on today’s Interwebs.

We live in an era where a large percentage of social interaction has been replaced by pounding away at a plastic keyboard in front of a bright LCD screen.  Millions of users flock to sites such as Twitter, LinkedIn and Adult Friend Finder for their daily fix of social activity.  The most popular of these sites is Facebook, herein referred to as “The Book of Face.”

As recently as last year, a different site was the premier social networking destination.  In April of 2008, The Book of Face unseated chief rival MySpace from the throne.  Web traffic is difficult to accurately measure, but by some accounts, The Book of Face is the fourth most popular destination on the Interwebs.

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